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英初中语书面表达习作指导

作者:童玲 来源:网络转载 发布时间:2018年04月03日 点击数: 【字体: 收藏

你是否想象过自己未来的职业?做一名守卫正义的警察,或是传道授业解惑的教师,又或许是为科学进步不断贡献力量的科学家,谈谈你自己的规划。请将题目“I want to be a _____ in the future”补充完整,并以此为题写一篇英语作文。词数:60~100。

技巧点拨

这篇文章是写未来的职业规划,要求考生写出自己理想的职业是什么,同时要写出选择这个职业的原因。建议所写理由要充分,有理有据,具有说服力。最后要表明为了实现这个职业理想应该如何付诸实践。

写作提纲

时态:一般现在时,和一般将来时

人称:第一人称

内容:

1、介绍自己的理想职业是什么;

2、选择这个职业的理由是什么;

3、为了实现这个职业理想该如何做。

语言组织

重点词组:

理想的职业dream job 未来in the future

重点句型

I dream to be a (an) ...

I want to be a (an) ... because ...

I will ... / I am going to ...

过渡衔接

在表达选择这个职业的原因时,可以适当地使用连接词,如because或so 等。在表达为实现这个职业理想该如何做时,可用in order to,need to, have to ... 等表达。结尾可用I believe , I am sure 等表达一种对实现梦想的自信。

一类文

I want to be a doctor in the future

Have you ever thought about your dream job? Maybe you’d like to be a police officer? A teacher? Or a scientist? My dream job is to be a doctor. I want to be a doctor because doctors can save people’s lives. I still remember something that happened when I was ten years old. My grandmother was very sick. But her doctors saved her life. From then on, I decided to be a doctor. I want to help people live healthier and longer.

In order to make my dream come true, I’m going to study hard and try to enter a good university. I need to take more time to learn as much as I can about medicine. And I have to do more exercise, so I can stay healthy to handle the stress that comes with being a doctor.

If I become a doctor in the future, I will work hard and be careful with every patient. I’ll try my best to be a responsible and qualified doctor. I’m sure I’ll make it.

【点评】文章通过问题引出了自己理想的职业是什么,以及选择这个职业的原因;其次说明为了实现这个职业理想打算做哪些努力;最后巧妙运用假设,表达了自己的决心和自信。

本文在时态使用上准确恰当、语言简洁明了、表达通俗易懂。在结构方面,做到了简单句和复合句交替使用,如文中使用了 when, because,if 等引导的从句,以及定语从句使文章结构错落有致。在逻辑性方面,连接词的使用如 from then on, in order to 等,让句子衔接紧密,逻辑性强,表达更有力度。

一类文

I want to be an English teacher in the future

Have you ever thought about your future job? Some people want to be police officers, while others want to be scientists. For me, I want to be an English teacher.

Why do I want to be an English teacher? Because I am good at English and I like it a lot. Learning English makes me happy and speaking English makes me confident. But I need to learn more to be an English teacher. I have a long way to go. I need to make an effort to practice English every day. My spoken English isn’t very good, so I should spend more time practicing speaking. In addition, I am going to do more grammar exercises, because I sometimes make grammar mistakes in speaking and writing.

I’ll try my best to learn English well and become a good English teacher. I will teach my students how to learn English and make my class interesting and lively. I believe that if I put my heart into it, my dream will come true.

【点评】本文行文流畅,较好地完成了试题规定的任务。作者运用所学语言恰当地表达了自己未来的理想工作是什么,以及为实现这个理想该如何做。be good at, make an effort to, spend more time practicing 等表达都运用得生动而恰到好处。此外,文中过渡连词的使用如 some ...,while others ...,for me,in addition,也给文章增色不少。

二类文

I want to be a writer in the future

Everyone has a dream. Some people want to be teachers. Others want to be doctors. My dream is to be a writer.

Since childhood, I have enjoyed writing things down, and I believe that the charm of language is more than just the words themselves. I also like to tell stories, no matter if they are someone else’s or my own. If I become a writer in the future, I will write different kinds of books, such as storybooks, prose and biographies. I hope my books will cheer people up and help them broaden their horizons.

I believe that my dream will come true one day. I will become an excellent writer through hard work.


【点评】本文思路较为清晰,基本涵盖作文题目要求的要点。作者在第二段介绍自己为什么喜欢这一职业时,明确地表达了自己的观点。从语言上看,作者恰当地使用了 enjoy doing,more than, no matter 等表达。此外,作者如果能在最后一段增加篇幅,详细说明自己计划如何实现梦想,充实文章内容,则会使未来的职业理想显得更加真实、可信。

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